i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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