He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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