She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
