Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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