So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
