I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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