I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
