I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
