It's Friday. Sex?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
