I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
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Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
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My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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