the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
