I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
