Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
