I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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