I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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