from now on my penis is your penis
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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