she smelled like a LAN party
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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