I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
