I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
