She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
