Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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