I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
