Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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