What did we do last night that was yellow?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
