Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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