I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
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What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
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I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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