Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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