She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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