I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He has the fingertips of a God
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
