No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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