separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize