she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
