I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Is Oprah even human
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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