we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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