Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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