he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
