I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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