Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.

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(334): View more from Alabama

I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.

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(317): View more from Indiana

The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.

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