Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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