I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
