And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
actually, I'm a sock model
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize