If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
