So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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