none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
