you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
