This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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