I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
