So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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