Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
