Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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