So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
you had me at cake vodka
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize