It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
