So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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