the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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