he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
