More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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