You're so nebulous sometimes
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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