You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
