Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
